Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Shredding My Old Tests And Notebooks

I consider myself something of a history buff. I'm fascinated by U.S. history. I love to visit museums and study the artifacts and personal belongings of famous figures. No possession is too insignificant for a museum -- you'll often see notebooks, diaries and private letters on display. I have no idea if the historical figures would approve of this. I suppose their right to privacy expires after a few hundred years.

It's for this reason that I hope I never become famous. I don't want strangers reading my notebooks or letters. Imagine some tourist looking at my seventh-grade social studies notebook as a tour guide puts it in the proper historical context. "You'll notice a heart in the bottom right corner with the initials 'J.L.' While unconfirmed, these initials could refer to one of several female classmates on whom Shane had a crush -- Janet Lewis, perhaps. Along the margins are several versions of Shane's signature. He was fond of signing his name in his notebook to pass the time in class."

I also wouldn't want a lock of my hair on display, either. This seems to be a popular staple of history museums -- hair of prominent figures. Where do they obtain the hair, I wonder? Did the historical figures hold on to their trimmings? Did they collect the hair after a cut at the barbershop? "Don't sweep up that hair! What are you, crazy? If I become famous one day, museums will need my hair!"