Wow, it's been nearly four years since I've written a blog post. There are so many reasons why this was the case, but really the simplest explanation I can give is that I had absolutely nothing of substance to offer. Nothing.
That is, until last week, when I went to the Great Lawn in Central Park for a performance by the New York Philharmonic. There, I experienced something that I've thought about for days, and something that will stay with me for a long, long time. Something that's inspired me to get back on the horse and write again.
That something is horses---.¹ A long string of horses---, on the walking path separating the lawn from the bench I sat on. It was directly in front of me, right in the center of the path. It was very, very hard to miss.
I was baffled that it hadn't been removed prior to the concert, but there it was, and obviously I couldn't ignore it. So for 2 1/2 hours, from the moment I sat down to the moment the concert ended, I stared at that s---, watching how others would react to it. It was 10 times more entertaining than watching a 2 1/2-hour movie, and it was set to a live orchestra, too.
For some who walked by the s---, it was a curiosity. A few thought it was dogs---. One child speculated it was elephant s---. Given the size and scope of the s---, I won't rule that out.²
Over the course of the night, five or six people sat to my right on the bench. They too were mesmerized by the horses---. Together, we'd let out a gasp whenever someone would come close to stepping in it, usually because they were too busy staring at their phone.
"I feel like I should be warning people," I said to a couple next to me at one point.
"No. You ever watch those nature videos where they don't intervene? Let nature take its course," one of them responded.
So we continued to "ooh" as people walked a little too close, as a football fan would when a wide receiver catches a pass in the middle of the field and then is leveled by a safety.
Let me pause at this point to remind you that the New York Philharmonic was performing music by the likes of Beethoven live in Central Park.
I won't go into any additional detail, since I've talked way more s--- than I'd like to for my first blog post in four years, except for this: As the sun set and the sky darkened, a dog, wearing an LED collar, slowly approached the horses--- and then went straight for the center and ATE IT.
Dun-dun-dun-dun...dun-dun-dun-dun!³
Amazingly, the dog was not admonished by its owner beyond a "bad dog!" The dog showed zero remorse. But far be it from me to judge either side. I had no dog in this fight.
Anyway, the next day I returned to the site of the horses---. Not intentionally. I didn't wake up thinking, "Let me see if it's still there." I just happened to be out for a morning walk in Central Park and thought, "Let me see if it's still there." It was mostly cleaned up, though there were still remnants strewn about on the path.
So...yeah. That's what inspired me to write on this blog again. One can only guess what sort of s--- I'll write about next.
1 Very rarely in my life will I use an obscenity in full. I suppose I can attribute that to my upbringing. My parents always taught me to censor my profanity with dashes.
2 I took a photo of it, which is available upon request.
3 Just so we're on the same page, Beethoven's 5th Symphony wasn't actually playing at this moment.
