Tiny Bits of Nonsense: January 2016

Here is the January 2016 edition of "Tiny Bits of Nonsense," featuring 10 of my tweets for the month:

It is so cold outside that I have to wait until I'm indoors before I can use my phone to write posts about how cold it is outside.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 20, 2016

"Hey, are those my branches?" -- Trees, to snowmen

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 28, 2016

The snow wasn't nearly as fun as "The Revenant" made it out to be.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 25, 2016

I set an alert on shopping sites in case prices fall and they can't get up.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 7, 2016

The only artwork I truly understand is painted on the walls at Trader Joe's.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 28, 2016

After watching the State of the Union address and taking three bathroom breaks, I am confident that I could never be speaker of the House.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 13, 2016

I'd like to learn more about the third-most famous person named Michael Jordan.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 21, 2016

I'm like Jack Bauer springing into action whenever I see a countdown clock on my computer threatening a shutdown after an update.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 29, 2016

Plot twist in the new "Full House": Danny Tanner finally realizes he's the father of twins.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 2, 2016

I didn't realize how important it is to take close-up shots of my pimples until I saw a Proactiv commercial.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 26, 2016

Other bits of nonsense:
December 2015
New Year's Edition
November 2015
October 2015
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014

Tiny Bits of Nonsense: December 2015

Here is the December 2015 edition of "Tiny Bits of Nonsense," featuring some of my tweets for the month:

Tonight's not the opening of a new "Spaceballs" movie? So I dressed up as Rick Moranis for nothing?

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 18, 2015

Google Maps doesn't recognize "Fury Road." SOMEONE didn't like the last "Mad Max" movie.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 2, 2015

We haven't had another ALF land here in 30 years. Feels like a step back for his kind.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 2, 2015

"SNL" is just a stepping stone for comedians who really just want to star in an Old Navy commercial.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 29, 2015

Now that I'm older, wiser and more experienced, I think I'm finally ready to run for president of my fifth-grade class.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 4, 2015

I was so awful playing sports in gym class that I would've trended locally on social media every week if social media existed.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 4, 2015

You set up an account with a website and give it your number, and then you wait by the phone for days and it never calls....

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 21, 2015

"We could write our initials on paper, but we'd rather write our initials on the thing that paper comes from." -- Teen couples

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 28, 2015

I just ran into a chicken who was released by his owner. He was non-chicken-tendered.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 4, 2015

Other bits of nonsense:
New Year's Edition
November 2015
October 2015
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014