Adele's now writing songs about how sad she is because of all of the "Hello" parodies.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 23, 2015
Remember this Starbucks controversy, because I want to dress as a red Starbucks cup for Halloween next year.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 11, 2015
"I'm tired of pumpkin-flavored food!" -- Me, before I spend the next two months eating peppermint-flavored food
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 18, 2015
My biggest complaint about the current fall weather: It's too warm to complain that it's gotten too cold.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 13, 2015
I saw "The Peanuts Movie." Halfway through I stood up and yelled, "Isn't there anyone who knows what the movie is all about?"
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 6, 2015
The main reason I like Jennifer Lawrence is that she gives me the strength to fall in public and feel OK about it.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 12, 2015
There are a lot of NYC Marathon runners throwing banana peels on the street. You can tell their only training was hours of Mario Kart.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 1, 2015
I applied for a job with a listicle site. They responded with an email titled, "13 Reasons Why You're Not a Good Fit for Us at This Time."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 4, 2015
Bacon cheeseburger: when food product from just one animal in between a bun isn't enough.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 8, 2015
I guess the ship has sailed for a sequel to the movie "2012" called "2013."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 21, 2015
Other bits of nonsense:October 2015
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
