If I ever have a child, Instagram will be the first to know.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 20, 2015
Proper Facebook etiquette dictates that you have up to one year to like a friend's wedding album.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 25, 2015
Every now and then I reply to email addresses that include the phrase "Do Not Reply," just to stay in touch.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 20, 2015
I'm 34 and very nervous about leaving the 18- to 34-year-old demo for advertisers. However, I'm excited to remain part of the 18-to-49 demo.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 12, 2015
In Australia people twist the top of their Oreos counterclockwise.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 11, 2015
I bought a book of stamps at the post office but I quit reading it after the first page. I'll just wait for the movie.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 25, 2015
Whenever I see a really good movie in the theater, I write an email to Netflix saying, "Now I have a recommendation for YOU."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 9, 2015
"Taken, not stirred." -- The tagline for a future James Bond movie starring Liam Neeson
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 8, 2015
I hope I meet Jennifer Garner one day so I can finally tell her what's in my wallet.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 9, 2015
I'm so excited about the announcement of the Coachella lineup that I've already started to look up all of the bands on Wikipedia.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 6, 2015
Other bits of nonsense:December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
