Friday, July 31, 2015

Tiny Bits of Nonsense: July 2015

Here is the July 2015 edition of "Tiny Bits of Nonsense," featuring 10 of my tweets for the month:









Other bits of nonsense:
June 2015

May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014

April 2014
March 2014

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Foo Fighters At Citi Field: Loud, Long, And Mets-Free

Last night I attended a Foo Fighters concert at Citi Field, home of the New York Mets. I had eagerly awaited the concert since purchasing tickets in January. My second-favorite band, playing in the stadium of my favorite baseball team? Yes!

I'd convinced myself that this concert would be more special than the previous two Foo Fighters shows I'd seen. Why? Because the Mets -- my Mets -- were involved.

The Mets and the Foos, together. I couldn't wait. Dave Grohl and his bandmates seemingly embraced the team in the lead-up to the show. Just look at this picture. I hadn't seen grown men with Mets jerseys smile like this in years.
I'm not sure what I thought would happen at the concert, but I fully expected it to have some sort of Mets influence. My mind ran wild with ideas. Maybe the Foos could:

- Perform in their Mets jerseys;
- Dedicate "Everlong" to the greatest couple in baseball, Mr. and Mrs. Met;
- Invite Tom Seaver onto the stage for a cover of "Meet the Mets."


The band decided to go in a different direction. They chose not to acknowledge the Mets in any way, shape or form. Well, aside from selling merchandise that borrowed the Mets' colors, including this blue-and-orange T-shirt that I purchased at the ballpark.

I love to buy merchandise that's blue and orange, because those are my two favorite colors (thanks to the Mets). I have the shopping habits of a five-year-old.
My disappointment over the Foos/Mets matter aside, the concert was fun. Loud, too, louder than the other Foos shows I'd attended. Admittedly, it was a little too loud for my taste. There was actually a moment during the concert when I muttered to myself, "I get it, Dave, you don't want to be my monkey wrench. Do you have to scream it again and again at the top of your lungs?"
"Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?"
I had a good-sized headache by 10:30 p.m. And the show didn't end until 11:15 p.m., well past my bedtime. The Foo Fighters were onstage for two and a half hours. That's a long time to play music on a work night. With the long commute back to my apartment, I knew I wouldn't return home until 12:30 a.m. That meant I wouldn't be able to sleep as much as I normally do. And sleep is very important to me. Bands should be less concerned with entertaining their fans and giving them their money's worth, and more concerned with sending them home at a reasonable hour.

But these are all minor quibbles. The Foos sounded great. And, best of all, I didn't have to stand to enjoy them.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Too Stressed To Color

I've been under a lot of stress lately, for reasons I won't bore you with. It's affected the way I live my life. It's disturbed my daily routine.

For example, I typically eat four bowls of cereal for dinner, but in recent weeks I've only had two bowls. I just haven't had the appetite for more. 

It's the stress. It's completely suppressed the joy I derive from the simple pleasures in life, like consuming half a box of Rice Chex at 7:30 p.m.

I'm not sure how to manage the stress. I have options, too many to count -- I could read a book, learn an instrument, play a sport, practice yoga, and so on -- but they all come with their own risk of stress. What if I choose the wrong book to read, or the wrong instrument to learn? What if I'm no good at the sport I decide to play? What if I can't find my yoga mat? I can't handle uncertainty.

Several friends have suggested that I speak with a therapist. I'm not sold on the idea. I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to afford it. The mere possibility of having to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for therapy stresses me out. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of boxes of Rice Chex.

I'd prefer a more cost-effective solution, one that wouldn't interfere with my cereal-eating diet. As luck would have it, I may have discovered a more cost-effective solution at 2 a.m. this morning.

I was watching the first Terminator movie on a random cable channel when I was introduced to this infomercial:


I'd never heard of Colorama before, but I was intrigued. Artwork that will melt your stress away? Can artwork really do that? I remember suffering dozens of panic attacks as a kid in art class because I couldn't stay between the lines. I frustrated my teacher to no end, which upset me to no end. My art didn't melt away my stress or her stress. It caused stress for the both of us.

I've never been much of an artist as an adult. My last honest attempt at creating artwork came in 2010, when I designed the cover for my book Shane Presents Shane's Empty Thoughts: Based on the Empty Thoughts of Shane.

The cover of Shane Presents Shane's Empty Thoughts: Based on the Empty Thoughts of Shane (still free on iTunes!).

I wanted a cover that reflected the book's title. As you can tell, I put in little effort to create such a cover in Microsoft Paint. I understand my limitations. My art is more MoMa than the Met.

But the purpose of Colorama is not to impress others or to sell them on something. It's to "create something wonderful and relax." 

It should also be noted that Colorama only costs $12.99, plus shipping and handling. Far more reasonably priced than your average therapist. And would I create anything at a therapist's office that I could frame or present to a friend as a gift? Not likely.

By 2:03 a.m. I was seriously considering ordering the Colorama. But then I started to think some more. What if the free deluxe pencil kit does not have the colors I need? What if I can't keep a steady hand while coloring in bed or in the car? What if I still can't stay between the lines?

As of this writing, I have not ordered the Colorama. I'm not ruling it out for the future, but I need more time to think about it. In the meantime, I'll look for other ways to melt my stress away, and look for other late-night infomercials. Maybe I should learn an instrument....