Bravo has held more reunions in the past year than every U.S. high school put together.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 14, 2015"Hey, we're going to be on TV again!" -- The Beach Boys' initial reaction to the "Full House" spin-off
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 2, 2015Popeye gave up on his music career pretty quickly after hitting it big with that one song about how he's a sailor man.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 16, 2015I'm at an age where, if my life were a TV series, I'd air a clip show featuring highlights from before the moment I jumped the shark.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 4, 2015Staples doesn't sell enough items named after cartoon villains, aside from its Shredders.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 30, 2015My greatest skill is endorsing other people's skills on LinkedIn.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 24, 2015I only buy honey that comes in a bottle shaped like a bear. That's how I know the honey is bear-approved.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 24, 2015I spend more time waving at automatic sinks than to human beings.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 19, 2015I have some great names in mind for my future children's fantasy teams. However, I have no names in mind for my future children.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 18, 2015When someone says, "We all know the story," that's a sign that he will waste your time by telling you the story anyway.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 6, 2015March 2015
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