The Emmy Awards: recognizing the best shows I might consider binge-watching two or three years from now.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 24, 2014
If I were a new "Saturday Night Live" cast member I'd spend my entire summer practicing my "good night" wave for the end of the show.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 13, 2014
Hard to believe that only one star of "The Expendables 3" was the governor of a U.S. state.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 15, 2014
I'm in awe of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because they're still only teenagers. They haven't hit their prime as ninja turtles yet.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 5, 2014
The downside of owning a smartphone is that it distracts you from peeking at other people's smartphones.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 17, 2014
The supermoon won't really be super until I apply an Instagram filter to it.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 10, 2014
I'm so shy that I had to ask my friend to press the "Ask" button next to the relationship status on my crush's Facebook page.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 3, 2014
iTunes is only interested in sharing its own suggestions. It never wants to listen to mine.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 24, 2014
"Hello. I'd like the cheapest item on your menu and free WiFi, please." -- Me ordering at Starbucks, every time
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 3, 2014
I have reviewed your last tweet. Unfortunately, I cannot retweet it at this time. However, I will keep your tweet on file.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) August 1, 2014
Other bits of nonsense:July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
