My New Year's Eve plans include catching up on Halloween candy, Thanksgiving leftovers and Christmas movies.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 28, 2014
I plan on spending my New Year's Eve with a lot of beautiful, single ladies. Assuming they're logged on to Match the same time I am.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2013
The New Year's Eve ball for Times Square weighs nearly 12,000 pounds. It's already made a New Year's resolution to lose weight in 2016.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2015
My 2009 glasses work just fine. Stop pressuring me to buy a new pair of New Year's glasses.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 1, 2015
I'll be playing the "Auld Lang Syne" sample on iTunes over and over as soon as the clock strikes midnight.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2014
I will be celebrating the final minutes of 2015 by deleting all of the holiday music off of my phone.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh, wait, never mind. I was confused because my alarm clock lost power and was blinking "12:00." False alarm.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2013
My New Year's resolution is to remind everyone else of their New Year's resolutions throughout the year.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 31, 2015
One of my New Year's resolutions is to be a better person. Better than everyone else. At everything.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 29, 2013
My New Year's resolution is to let BuzzFeed come up with the top 15 resolutions I need to make for 2015.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 1, 2015
New Year's Eve is a manufactured holiday designed to sell Dilbert calendars.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 1, 2014
I just upgraded my calendar with a one-year commitment.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 16, 2014
I hope my 2015 calendar's New Year's resolution was to be recycled in 2016.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) January 2, 2016
I just watched my friends' "Year in Review" on Facebook. Brought back so many fond memories of the posts I skipped this year.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) December 22, 2015
Other bits of nonsense:November 2015
October 2015
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
