Tiny Bits of Nonsense: October 2015

Here is the October 2015 edition of "Tiny Bits of Nonsense," featuring some of my tweets for the month:

The Mets winning the pennant proves that if a fan can be pessimistic about his team for long enough, good things will happen.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 22, 2015

Surprised that Paul Rudd was cast as a Royals fan this World Series but some combination of Steve Carell, Jason Segal & Leslie Mann weren't.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 28, 2015

I looked up a list of celebrities who share my birthday, just so I know which celebrities have been celebrating without me all these years.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 23, 2015

I'm 34 and I just got carded at the library. Can you believe that?

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 19, 2015

Already thinking of new ways to make fun of Columbus during the next Columbus Day.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 13, 2015

It's been too long since Vanilla Ice was back with a brand-new invention. I hope he didn't give up on inventing things.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 8, 2015

I took a walk on the wild side tonight, and Fitbit says it only took me 786 steps.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 3, 2015

My hobbies include repeatedly hitting the refresh button on websites that automatically refresh.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 11, 2015

I've become so anti-social that I only use abbreviations of social media sites, like FB and Insta.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 7, 2015

Other bits of nonsense:
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014

Tiny Bits of Nonsense: Halloween Edition

It's a special Halloween edition of "Tiny Bits of Nonsense"! Here are some tweets to go with your treats:

To me, Halloween is an annual celebration of how I'm too lazy to answer the door when someone rings the doorbell.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 27, 2015

I will spend most of my Halloween trying to figure out how many bite-size Snickers equals 1 full Snickers, and then eating about 50 of them.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 17, 2013

I've been playing a lot of Jenga lately, but with Kit-Kat bars. So, kids, if I don't have candy for you this #Halloween, that's why.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 23, 2013

Candy wrappers take it easy on the day after Halloween by just lying around the house.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 2, 2015

I've stocked up on rocks for Halloween, just in case Charlie Brown comes to my house for trick-or-treating.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 22, 2014

"Blah!" -- A vampire after eating candy corn on Halloween
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 31, 2014

I did the Monster Mash, too, but I choose not to write a song about it.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 31, 2014

Asked the cashier at the Halloween store whether it carries a "disinterested Halloween store employee" costume. Ended up buying his clothes.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 25, 2013

Who do you think will be president in 2020? I like to be ahead of the curve when it comes to Halloween masks.

— Shane (@myemptythoughts) September 30, 2016

This is the worst time of year to be a pumpkin.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) October 3, 2014

Other bits of nonsense:
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014