I've become a little too reliant on the Health app on my phone. It's embarrassing, to be honest. It knows more about my health than I do.
I don't even know how it knows. For example, it knows my blood pressure. I swear, I don't remember entering this into the app, but somehow it recalls that on Dec. 24, 2016, at 1:33:23 p.m., I recorded a blood pressure of 133/87. Evidently, it was a very stressful Christmas Eve for me.
For two and a half years, I lived with this data in my Health app. I would open it to check my steps and it would punch me in the gut: You've walked 10,000 steps, you've recorded 15 mindful minutes, and, oh, by the way, you suffer from prehypertension.
I went to Rite Aid last Tuesday just so I could use the blood pressure machine and update the numbers in the app, once and for all. I'm proud to say that, according to Rite Aid, my blood pressure is now 106/76. I was so thrilled that I bought two pints of Ben & Jerry's for $6. I realize I could've celebrated in a healthier way, but would you turn down a two-for-$6 deal on Ben & Jerry's?
A couple of days later I signed up for a blood drive, and here's where my complete lack of awareness regarding my health shined through. I assumed, based on the poster for the blood drive, that I would simply show up, give them some of my blood, and be out of there in 10 minutes. "Come donate blood and receive two tickets to a baseball game!" Sure. Easy-peasy.
No. Not easy-peasy. I was out of there in 10 minutes, but I didn't give them any of my blood. It turns out they had a few questions about my medical history.
Actually, more than a few, and I was ill-prepared. I had to fill out what was essentially a pop quiz about myself: What's your height? What's your weight? What's your age? Are you using prescription medication? For what? And what is the name of the medication, exactly?
What was this, a blood drive or a blind date?
I do use prescription medication, a cream, but I couldn't remember the name. I could only remember that it is a complicated name, something like 12 consonants and eight vowels. Fortunately, my wife was home and was able to send me a photo of the tube.
Unfortunately, she couldn't help me out with another question that stumped me. I received a measles booster earlier this year, which I noted, but then I was asked what kind of measles booster it was. There's more than one? I wondered. I don't know. The kind that prevents me from getting the measles?
"We really need to know," a nurse told me. "Is there any way you can find out?"
"Yes," I said. I opened the Health app. I searched for the tab in the app for my vaccinations. I discovered there is no such tab.
So that was the end of that. I had no choice but to leave the blood drive, with my head hanging in shame, having failed an exam on my own health.
After I walked out of the office I opened the Health app again. I checked my blood pressure. It was 106/76. I wasn't suffering from prehypertension. I started to feel better about myself.
