Admiring the cheesecake display in the front of my local Cheesecake Factory is the closest I've come to visiting a museum in 5 years.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 17, 2014
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it's always a good time. WHOA-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH."- Dickens/Carly Rae Jepsen mashup
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 2, 2014
"You're so Monet and you don't even know it." -- Vince Vaughn at an art museum
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 22, 2014
Maybe it's time Queen Latifah remove the "Queen" from her name. It's embarrassing that we're the only country whose queen hosts a talk show.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 26, 2014
Surprising that after all these years no one has come up with the formula for a 6-Hour Energy Drink.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 1, 2014
I like to sit in the high-tech chairs in Brookstone and pretend I'm a coach on "The Voice."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 19, 2014
"Sign in. Sign out. Sign in. Sign out. Sign in." -- Gavin Rossdale singing to himself as he repeatedly checks his email
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 24, 2014
Did you know a Pez dispenser can survive up to 35 years without a candy refill?
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 26, 2014
I complain about autocorrect, but to be fair, it pays more attention to the texts I write than the people who receive them.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 4, 2014
Performing in a house band for a reality show is one step above playing "Rock Band" with your friends.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 20, 2014
Other bits of nonsense:April 2014
March 2014
