A Pos't Regarding "Punk'd"

I was recently watching a clip of the comedy The Other Guys in which Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg's characters, both detectives, were fumbling an arrest. Exasperated, the suspect said, "Am I being Punk'd?"

It occurred to me that this is a commonly-used phrase, in one form or another. Google News shows at least 10 instances this month alone of someone either asking if they were being Punk'd or saying they thought they had been Punk'd.

Let me clear up the confusion. Chances are slim that anyone has been Punk'd in the last three years. How do I know this? Because the show went off the air in 2007. Ashton Kutcher stopped pulling pranks a long time ago. And when he did play tricks on others, the victims were usually celebrities.

So breathe a big sigh of relief. No one is in danger of being Punk'd.

Riding The Subway -- Fun!

New York City has a wonderful public transit system. If you've never been to the Big Apple, the city has several convenient subway lines, which you can ride by purchasing a MetroCard. You can choose to pay per ride, or you can obtain an unlimited ride MetroCard. I highly recommend the 1-Day Fun Pass. It is SO MUCH FUN!

The 1-Day Fun Pass allows you unlimited subway rides until three in the morning the following day. That means you can ride the subway as many times as you like for hours and hours. It's really fun! If you've never stood on a steamy subway platform for several minutes, waiting for the next train to pull in, you're in for a real treat! And when you step onto a bustling subway car and some guy with a guitar is moved to drown out your iPod with a song he wrote five minutes earlier, it's fantastic!

The 1-Day Fun Pass...fun!

Smile When You're Shaving

I mentioned before how confused I was by the "Teach Your Baby To Read" commercials I often see on TV. Well, I'm now puzzled by another set of ads. There are several commercials for electric shavers, and while the brands and functions may vary, they all seem to include a scene with a man staring into the mirror, caressing his cheeks and chin, and smiling widely, proud of himself after a nice, clean shave.

What is this guy so happy about? All he did was shave. It's not a rare skill. In fact, virtually every man on the planet shaves every day. And I can't speak for all of them, but I'm never happy when I'm shaving. It's an annoying chore. Any activity that can lead to bleeding can't be all that fun.

I have one more bone to pick with these commercials: I've never, ever had a woman put her arms around me in the bathroom after I've shaved because she's so darn happy that I have a smooth face. Seriously, who out there is in this kind of relationship? I mean, I've never hugged a girl because she shaved her legs. But then, I've never seen a woman stare at her legs in the mirror after she's shaved them, either.

Pick Up The Phone And Call A Senior Citizen Today

I've been researching the smartphone market as of late. Currently, I own a basic cell phone, and quite frankly, my hand feels naked without a phone that allows me to surf the Internet, listen to music and play games whenever I'm walking on the street. So I may buy a smartphone in the near future.

I find it odd that the phone companies I looked into offer a limited plan specifically for senior citizens. I didn't realize that a person begins to lose interest in making phone calls once they turn 65. Either that, or the phone companies somehow came to the conclusion that no one wants to talk to a senior citizen. "They don't need the minutes. Who's going to call an old guy anyway? He'd just tell boring old stories and fall asleep in the middle of the conversation." It's not like he won't have the ability to tell his stories on his phone; he'll just have to save minutes by sending really long text messages.

My Very First Blog Entry

I want to start by thanking you for visiting my blog. I assume you did so because, as my friend or relative, I forced you to. You have proven your loyalty to me. Well done.

I have no expectations for this blog -- how often I'll post, who will read the posts, etc. But I hope you enjoy it all the same. If you're wondering where the title comes from, it's a paraphrase of a British expression that I became fond of after watching the hilarious Ricky Gervais comedy Extras.

I've decided to post below a commentary on one of my favorite topics: Facebook. Feel free to give me feedback and/or constructive criticism...but only if it's positive constructive criticism.

Facebook has some sort of unexplainable power that compels us to share every minute detail of our lives to our “friends.” Why do we feel the need to provide hourly updates on our whereabouts, our activities, our emotions? Because it’s newsworthy.

Literally. Status updates, links, photos -- they all qualify as news in the world of Facebook. They are all posted in the “News Feed.” And the most relevant items are posted under a subheading titled “Top News.” That’s right…”Top News.” The most important stories of the day that you need to know about are in this section. You don’t need to buy a newspaper or watch cable news to learn about what’s going on in your world. Just log on to Facebook’s “Top News” feed. Today’s top stories: “Mark Roberts is really tired and can use a nap.” “Fred Perez commented on Oliver Wright’s status.” “John Lilly IS TIRED OF THE SNOW AND WANTS THE WINTER TO BE OVER!!!9!!” That last story was reported by Mobile Web three minutes ago, by the way.

Facebook needs to take their “News Feed” one step further. It needs to launch a cable news network. It could provide a ticker of U.S. and international status updates. And finally, I’d be able to get the news I can really use. “Tragedy strikes in the Southwest, where eight people have died in a….hold on, we’ve received word of a breaking story here in our newsroom…Laura Robinson and Angela Thomas are now friends. Once again, Laura Robinson and Angela Thomas are now friends. We’ll send along to you more information as it becomes available.”

“We now go live to Miami, where a man by the name of ‘Scott R’ has become a fan of grilled cheese. Scott, can you tell us how this came about?” “Well, I’ve always enjoyed grilled cheese, but I’ve never had a forum where I can share my feelings on the subject with so many other people.” “What a remarkable story.” “Yeah, it’s been a pretty big day for me, because I’ve also been tagged in an album.” “Truly amazing. Thanks, Scott.”

“And now for a quick sports report: According to Jason Holliday, 'THE GIANTS NEED TO WIN THIS GAME TONIGHT. C’MON GUYS LET’S GO.'”

"That wraps things up for this half-hour of Facebook news. Next hour, we'll explore Mary's invitation to her '29th Birthday Spectacular,' and whether you should accept."