Any slender man who has a beard and wears a winter jacket and cap may be Aaron Paul, as far as I'm concerned.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 25, 2014
Charlie Brown's name is in the title of virtually every Peanuts special. He's basically the animated Tyler Perry.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 22, 2014
I've watched every season of "Survivor," so in a way I've sacrificed just as much as any of the castaways have.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 21, 2014
Congratulations to Faker He-Man for being named Sexiest He-Man Alive. What an upset.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 19, 2014
My cat could have been a famous grumpy cat if it had chosen to do something with its life.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 11, 2014
My favorite Foo Fighters lyric is either "HEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!" or "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 11, 2014
"I will remember you. Will you remember me?" -- Sarah McLachlan singing to herself the first time she enters her log-in info on a new site
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 23, 2014
The only time I've been congratulated this year was in August, when my anti-virus program told me I had no viruses.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 23, 2014
I received an envelope marked "Do Not Bend." I bent it. I won't let the envelope be the boss of me.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 6, 2014
The main reason why I look forward to Election Day is that it gives me the opportunity to wear my "Vote Pedro" T-shirt again.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) November 3, 2014
Other bits of nonsense:Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
