To this day, every time I hear a door slam shut I experience terrible flashbacks of friends signing off on me on AOL Instant Messenger.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 3, 2016
I knew I shouldn't have scheduled my Daylight Saving Time party for 2am.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 14, 2016
I organized a birthday bash for my friend at the local Home Depot. It was a supplies party.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 23, 2016
If you have a deep voice and put your mind to it, there's no reason why you can't become the next Batman.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 19, 2016
Did you hear Pac-Man is running for office? His supporters have created a super Pac to raise pellets.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 8, 2016
I created a new candy: M&M&M. It's basically two pieces of M&M candy held together with chewed gum.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 10, 2016
I bet Ross and Rachel raised their kid to have only five other friends. #Friends— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 29, 2016
I heard a remix of Adele's "Hello" at the deli. It was the first time I'd cried and danced to a song while ordering a chicken parm hero.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 7, 2016
I'm still rooting for Jay Z to reconcile with his hyphen.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 10, 2016
Other bits of nonsense:It's a shame that the greatest day that Billy Corgan has ever known was more than two decades ago.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) March 8, 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
New Year's Edition
November 2015
October 2015
Halloween Edition
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
"Back to the Future" Edition
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
Valentine's Day Edition
January 2015
December 2014
Holiday Season Edition
November 2014
Thanksgiving Edition
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
