Any word that Microsoft Word would underline with a red squiggly line can potentially work as a name for a new "Star Wars" character.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 7, 2016
"Captain America: Civil War" is just one big setup for the next sequel, "Captain America: Reconstruction."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 14, 2016
He-Man must have been devastated when he learned that, despite the hyphen and the word "man" in his name, he is not a Marvel superhero.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 9, 2016
The worst aspect of "Batman v Superman": Wonder Woman saved the world just as well as the two male superheroes but was paid far less.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 9, 2016
"The Jungle Book"? No thanks. I'll wait for "The Jungle Movie."
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 17, 2016
In the new Bourne movie, Jason Bourne can't remember his username for his email.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 22, 2016
You can tell that Fred Flintstone and Yogi Bear had the same fashion consultant.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 25, 2016
I'm planning a surprise party for Earth Day. Please tell the other planets to show up early and bring their favorite dessert.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 7, 2016
I went hiking today, but it was a challenge. There was a lot of trail and error.
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 23, 2016
Other bits of nonsense:If you're a caterpillar, there's only one correct answer to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
— Shane (@myemptythoughts) April 3, 2016
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