X-Men characters have only one name. That's why I could never be part of the X-Men and Adele could.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 26, 2016
I wouldn't want to be Wolverine and have healing powers because then I'd have to make "X-Men" movies literally forever.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 10, 2016
There are so many "Star Wars" movies in the works. We're thisclose to a spin-off titled "Han and Chewbacca Take Miami."— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 6, 2016
I am starting a podcast so I can finally fulfill my goal of being interviewed on a podcast.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 25, 2016
I may watch too much TV, but it's not as if Netflix recommends fresh air.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 19, 2016
If I were retiring from "60 Minutes," I think the last thing I'd want as a retirement gift is a watch that ticks.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 13, 2016
"We've driven past my house five times in the last three hours. Can you just stop singing and drop me off?" - Me, in a car with James Corden— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 6, 2016
I gave the ice cream man the remote control for my garage door. Now he just pulls into the garage. Much easier than chasing him down.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 19, 2016
My microwave might be mad at me. It hasn't said anything other than "beep" in years.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 28, 2016
Other bits of nonsense:Once one of the members of the 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS band goes solo, it's all over for that charity.— Shane (@myemptythoughts) May 26, 2016
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